My activities are becoming a burden to my wife. Over the past few years my mental problems have caused periodic problems in our household. Now, however, periodic is becoming part of my "normal, daily activity". Nearly every aspect of my day-to-day life is changing, and everything I do is questionable.  

Imagine going through your life knowing that whatever you do or think might be wrong, but you swear that what you did or thought was right. In your mind you're right, but your own history has proven this isn't the case. Now you can't trust anything you do or think. You can't confidently make decisions, offer advice or even form plans because your thinking ability is in question. 

We go through life confident that our decisions will at least match our feelings, life philosophy and personality; in other words, our feelings and thoughts will actually be our feelings and thoughts. If something happens that calls your thinking into question, and you cannot be confident that what you do is who you are, then your identity also comes into question. This is where I am now.

I'm afraid to offer advice, give direction or even be involved in a conversation. I can't trust my judgement. I am aware of this now, but there will come a time when I am not. That's when there'll be no more lookng back, because looking back will no longer be possible.